My eyes then inadvertently moved up to the speaker and found myself wondering whether she would consider buying such a gift for herself. As if reading my mind, she said, ‘but I wouldn’t get it for myself. It’s too expensive and where would I wear it to’. No-ooo! I wanted scream out loud. Get one for yourself too, it’s gorgeous.
Why do we lavish gifts on our friends and not on ourselves? Why do we indulge in self-pity, self loathing and self mutilation. We chew our nails to feed our fears. We drape ourselves comfortably in unappealing, ill-fitting clothes but feel undeserving of fabulosity for ourselves. We absorb sympathy but deflect praise. Stress is welcome, peace isn’t. I know of women who cannot even look at themselves in the mirror because they’re not happy with what they see, while other prefer denying themselves the simple pleasures in life for no other reason but because it doesn’t feel right to have fun. That’s just not right.
I believe that you should lavish love on yourself in abundance because you are deserving. Wrap beauty around your body like cashmere. Wallow in grace as you would bath of fragrant bubbles. Loving yourself is by no means egotistical. It is about acknowledgement. It’s about recognising all that you have done, the road you have walked to arrive where you are today. And Maya Angelou, in her poem, Phenomenal Woman, talks about ‘inner mystery’. That intangible something which says, I am strong, confident and beautiful.